Parential Advisory warning: The following review has been rated 12+ for frequent cartoon violence and gratuitous use of sexual innuendo…
Terrorists have inexplicably seized the tropical paradise of Bikini Beach, your mission is pretty straightforward: pump these uninvited guests full of holes, while trying to avoid hitting any of the half naked hotties with a stray bullet. But before the game thrusts you into the action, there’s time for a threesome of training levels and a cold shower (probably).
The first few stages act as a tutorial, and have you practising your skills at a shooting range. Controls are easily grasped, a fire button in the bottom left-hand corner does just that, and aiming is handled by one on the right. Once you’ve completed the training, it’s time to hit the beach.
Okay so Bikini Beach isn’t quite N.O.V.A., but what it does, it does well. And despite the game’s soft porn stylings, a satisfyingly hardcore, arcadey shoot ’em up lurks beneath the rude and crude exterior. Enemies explode in clouds of gore, heads come clean off, and the camera gets splattered with blood; all to the accompaniment of a pulse-pounding rock soundtrack and screaming bystanders.
Hilariously the bikini-clad babes continue to go about their business – sunning themselves, sprawling in provocative poses, and riding bikes – even as a bloody shoot-out takes place around them. Ah women, you gotta love ’em. As the battle rages on, there’s a definate retro vibe to the proceedings, made complete by an excitable commentator shouting statements like, Good shot! You suck! and Double kill!